Jesus said, "If you forgive men their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you."(Mtt 6:14). In that light,let us examine some common reservations about forgiving...
Unreserved Forgiveness (Part 1)
1 Some of us want to forgive only if the wrong is against someone else.
We may easily forgive a wrong done to another person, and expect that person to forgive. But when the wrong is done to us, it is a different story.
"In the way you judge, you will be judged,and by your standard of measure it will be measured to you"(Mtt 7:2).
2 Some of us want to forgive only if there is something in it for us.
Should we consider the offender under obligation to us, before we are under any obligation to forgive the offender?
But "This is love, not that we loved God, but that he first loved us and sent his Son to be the atonement for our sins."(1Jn 4:9-11,19).
God did all that he could possibly do (and that we could not possibly do) toward the forgiveness of our sins, before we did anything.
God was willing to sacrifice himself for our forgiveness. He did not seek to exploit our obligation to him.
3 Some of us want to forgive only if the wrong is all squared up.
Of course wrongs should be righted if possible (Zachaeus principle Lke 19:8-9).
If we are forgiving someone for stealing $50 from us and they have that amount in their pocket or pay packet, surely they should give it back!
However not all wrongs can be righted. For example, one cannot undo murder or adultery. One cannot give back what these acts take away.
What if God forgave us only the sins we could compensate for?
"Be... tender-hearted, forgiving one another..."(Eph 4:32). In many cases demanding restitution could be hard-hearted.
"You were bought with a price"(1Co 6:20)"Christ gave himself for us that he might redeem us from every lawless deed..."(Tit 2:13-14)
It is Christ-like to bear the cost of forgiving others when they themselves can hardly put right the consequences of their wrongdoing.
4 Some of us want to forgive just once more and never again.
Peter wondered if "up to seven times" might be a generous limit on how many times one should forgive a repeat offender (Mtt 18:21-22)
"...bearing with and forgiving one another..."(Col 3:13). In many cases giving only one more chance might lack a forbearing spirit.
Of course there may come a time when enough is enough and people have to be protected from an evildoer. However, you will notice that this should reflect the judgment not of one person, or even two or three, but of the many "...and if he will not listen to the church..."(Mtt 7:15-17).
When we are finding it hard to be lonsuffering toward others, let us remember that God is "longsuffering toward us"(2Pe 3:9).
Three more reservations