Throughout the ages sexual immorality has been a constant problem for mankind, causing much suffering and loss, and much offence to God. This was true in old testament times. It was true in the time of Jesus and his apostles. It remains true in Australian society today...
Marriage, the one cup from which God permits a couple to drink of sexual pleasure, is rejected by many. They prefer to commit fornication rather than to get married.
Many people do get married of course, but half of these marriages end in divorce, whereas God intends that men and women should not only marry, but remain married until one member of the marriage dies.
Divorce not only displeases God, it does terrible harm to our society, and leaves many victims suffering. In this lesson we focus on the problem of divorce. God's solution to this problem is very simple, yet it is a complete and thorough solution. If Australians today followed, with both heart and body, the three simple points below, our society would be transformed. The rampant lions would be caged —sexually transmitted disease, mental illness, family breakdown, vicious injustice, child neglect, financial ruin, genetic confusion, spiritual morbidity, and more besides.
1. Honour Marriage
Heb 13:4
The Bible has this simple but strong rule: "Marriage is honourable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge"(Heb 13:4)
A great many people are dishonouring marriage in Australia today...
Fornication: People are commonly committing fornication because they engage in sexual unions not sanctified by marriage. There seem to be as many couples in so called “defacto relationships” as there are in marriages.
Adultery: People are violating existing marriages by having sex with others besides their own husband or wife, or having sex with someone else's husband or wife. This adultery is so common it is hardly frowned upon.
Divorce: Married people in great numbers are also breaking up and getting divorced, entering into new marriages and often getting divorced again.
Fortunately we have a passage from Paul that can show a way to deal with this mess. The same circumstances troubled the society of his day.
1Co 6:9-20, 7:1-16
When Paul wrote to the Corinthians, he described the immoral way they used to live before becoming Christians, then he instructs them about marriage...
First he warned them, "Don't you know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived."(1Co 6:9).
Then he describes unrighteous persons, including among them "fornicators" and "adulterers"(1Co 6:9).
Next he says, "And such were some of you."(1Co 6:11). [Take note of that: some of the Christians in Corinth had been adulterers.]
He continues to write mainly about sexual immorality. He teaches that even immoral intercourse between two persons causes them to "become one flesh"(1Co 6:16).
He urges them to "flee fornication"(1Co 6:18).
Continuing on, Paul expresses respect for celibacy. "It is good for a man not to touch a woman"(1Co 7:1). However he does not commend it as a solution to sexual immorality.
He prescribes marriage as the solution. "Because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife and each woman her own husband"(1Co 7:3).
Summarizing those points: Some of those Paul is writing to had been guilty of fornication and adultery. Now they are Christians they must put all that behind them. The solution is not celibacy but marriage.
Within the marriage Paul commands that sexual intercourse should not be prohibited, and whilst abstinence is permitted it is not commanded or even recommended. "Do not deprive one another"(1Co 7:3-6).
Paul says that the unmarried should be permitted to marry, not forbidden to marry (1Co 7:9 cf 1Tm 4:2-3). We should note, however, that Paul applies this principle specifically to virgins and widows (1Co 7:25,39). He does not apply it to divorced persons. That's because a divorced person is not necessarily regarded by the Lord as "unmarried".
Pauls says that the married should remain together, not be separated or divorced (1Co 7:10). If separation is unavoidable, there should be neither divorce nor remarriage, but rather seeking for reconciliation (1Co 7:10-14).
If one's partner wilfully and wrongly breaks the marriage, one may have to to acknowledge with regret that the marriage is ended. However one should in no way encourage that result (1Co 7:15-16).
You can see clearly, in this lengthy passage, how Paul's teaching honours marriage. His teaching matches what we quoted earlier in Hebrews, "Marriage is honourable among all and the bed undefiled".(Heb 4:13).
Paul condemns their previous fornication and adultery.
He commends them to marriage.
He counsels avoidance of fornication.
He counsels all possible avoidance of divorce.
2. Hate Divorce
Malachi 2:13-16
God hates divorce. He considered that when a man takes a wife in marriage, the man makes a covenant with the wife for as long as they both live. God expects the covenant to be honoured. God sees divorce as treachery. God sees his altar covered with the tears, as the victims of divorce weep before him. Yes, God hates divorce. "For the LORD God of Israel says that he hates divorce, for it covers one's garment with violence... Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth"(Mal 2:13-16). If God hates divorce, surely we should hate it too.
Mtt 5:32
Jesus was opposed to divorce. He points out that adultery, if not the cause of divorce, is the result of it. Either someone commits adultery which causes a divorce, or someone gets a divorce which causes adultery when a new marriage is consummated. Jesus regards divorce and adultery as two evils which together dissolve a marriage before its proper time.
We have seen that (1) we should honour marriage and do all in our power to preserve it, and (2) hate divorce and do all in our power to avoid it. Now we finish with the third requirement...
3. Do Justice
Micah 6:8
"He has shown you, O man, what is good, and what does the LORD require of you, but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God"(Mic 6:8).
Jesus told the religious leaders of his day, "It was because of your hardness of heart that Moses permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so"(Mtt 19:8).
When you make a vow, the just thing is to keep that vow, not to abandon it when the going gets tough or when you discover you should not have made it. But what if your husband or wife breaks the vow made to you? When one discovers that one's husband or wife has been unfaithful, one may think it just to get a divorce. However, as the saying goes, “two wrongs don't make a right.”
The just and merciful thing one should do, is to plead humbly with the one who has committed adultery, that he or she might repent, accept forgiveness, and be reconciled to you. Be warned however, that even if your plea is accepted, your prayers are answered, and your patience is rewarded, the way forward may be hard and complicated. Doing justly and loving mercy is not always easy, but it is always best.
Of course your plea may be refused, and your waiting end in disappointment. Your erstwhile partner may go on sinning wilfully, and become so immoral, and so involved in fornication, that you can no longer look for reunion (1Co 6:15, 7:15). Eventually you may have to do what you hate, and divorce that partner if he or she has not already divorced you. But at least you tried to preserve the marriage, to avoid divorce, and to fulfill your vows. Moreover, you did justly and you loved mercy. This is what God asks of you.