Marriage is a "holy estate" instituted by God who created man and woman as equals. The man and the woman complement each other. Love is the first principle of marriage, where the husband sacrifices himself for his wife, and the wife submits herself to her husband. In holy matrimony, the two become one flesh with God's approval. Marriage is for life, and nothing but death should separate the married man and woman. God hates divorce. This lesson looks at those points about marriage.

God Created Man and Woman as Equals

Man was created in two forms: male and female (Gen 1:27). God first created the male, Adam. But God said, " It is not good for the man to be alone", and he created the female, Eve, as a companion for Adam . She was "a helper comparable to him" (Gen 2:18). She was not inferior to him. Woman is not a lesser creature. Rather, man and woman are complementary. This is portrayed in the poem about "an excellent wife" (Prv 31:10-31).

God Intends That Man and Woman Should Marry

Being single all one's life is not the natural or intended state. God intended that each man should take to himself a wife, and each woman should take to herself a husband (Gen 2:24, Mtt 19:4-5).

Celibacy, in certain circumstances, can be a good thing (1Co 7:1) but forbidding to marry is contrary to gospel (1Tm 4:1-3, 5:14). Jesus gave his approval to marriage by attending the wedding in Cana of Galilee (Jhn 2:1-2).

Notice in passing, that there was to be a LEAVING of father and mother, and a CLEAVING of husband to wife (Gen 2:24). The relationships to parents become secondary, and the relationship between husband and wife becomes foremost. Loyalty to husband or wife must come first.

The Two Who Marry Should Become One Flesh

God intended that the married couple "shall become one flesh" (Gen 2:24 Mtt 19:4-5). The physical union of man and wife is good in God's sight (Heb 13:4). It must not be thought unwholesome. Fornication --sexual intercourse outside wedlock-- is sinful, and "God will judge fornicators and adulterers". However within marriage a sexual relationship is the proper thing. In marriage, "the bed is undefiled" (Heb 13:4).

[In unusual cases, two people who are married may not have a complete sexual relationship. Either they are prevented for some reason, or they prefer not to. That is their own private business. However, we should understand that there is nothing holy or superior about this state, nor should it ever be imposed in the name of Christ.]

"One Flesh" versus "Strange Flesh"

In the marriage of a man and a woman, the couple become "one flesh" (Gen 2:24). In all other sexual couplings, the act involves "strange flesh" (Jude 1:7). Strange flesh means any flesh not one's own. One's own body is not strange flesh of course. Nor is the body of one's husband or wife as described in Gen 2:24. In a marriage between a man and woman, each owns the other's body (1Co 7:1-6). Sex is not only permissable, but proper between the two, because they are one flesh to each other and in God's sight, not strange flesh.

Flee Fornication

Because of the importance of abstaining from intercourse with strange flesh, one should take great care to confine sexual activity to one's own body and, in marriage, the body of one's husband or wife. Even flirting can jeopardise one's marriage or one's celibacy. You don't need to advertise your sexuality or use it to play games. The Bible says, " flee fornication" (1Co 6:18).

A Marriage Should Last As Long As Both Live

Only the death of one partner should dissolve a marriage and free the other to remarry. The widow or widower can of course remarry whenever they feel ready, because death has dissolved the marriage (1Co 7:39). When man does what only death is supposed to do, that is a bad thing. Jesus said,"What God has joined together, let not man put assunder" (Mtt 19:6). It is never right, and never the will of God, that a marriage is dissolved by anything but death.

When you marry, you are bound by God for the life of the one you marry. If that bond is broken beforehand, then a very grave wrong has been committed in God's sight. If your intention is less definite and less committed than what God has bound, don't marry. Only marry if you are saying in your heart, "till death do us part".

God Hates Divorce

Today, divorce is almost as common as marriage. God has made it pretty clear what He thinks of divorce: "I hate divorce" (Mal 2:13-16).

Matthew 19:9 shows that, when a person gets divorced and then remarries, the consummation of that marriage is an act of adultery, except where adultery causes the divorce. Either adultery results from the divorce, or the divorce results from adultery. No wonder God hates divorce.

The current fashion for divorce, defacto relationships, multiple marriages, and the like, is nothing new. These things were in vogue in Jesus's day too. He did not approve. The story of Jesus and the woman at the well illustrates his attitude (John 4:5-18). No matter how common the practice of divorce is, the fact remains that God hates it.

The Husband Is Head of the Wife

The Bible teaches that the man in a marriage is the head of the woman he is married to (1 Cor 11:3). The wife is to obey her husband (1 Peter 3:1-6, Eph 5:22-24). The husband must be caring, sharing, and self-sacrificing (1Pe 3:7 Eph 5:25,28-33).

A marriage will fail if...

Love is the First Principle of Marriage

Love is the first or foundation principle in marriage. But what kind of love? Not sex. Sex in marriage is a good thing, but it's not the "love" that makes a marriage strong. Not romance. Romance in marriage is a good thing, but it's not the "love" on which a marriage is founded. There is a far greater love. This is the sacrificial and selfless love described in Paul’s famous passage...

Love is patient,
Love is kind,
And is not jealous.
Love does not brag,
And is not arrogant.
Love does not behave rudely,
Does not seek its own,
Is not provoked,
Thinks no evil.
Love does not rejoice in evil,
But rejoices in truth.
Love bears all things,
Believes all things,
Hopes all things,
Endures all things.
Love never fails...

Home | Topics | List | Next